Body shaming ain’t fun

Introduction

I think we can all agree that body shaming is no fun. It never has been and never will be. I myself have had multiple encounters with it and trust me, at the end of it, you can always find me crying in the bathroom.

So I decided, what better way to heal my wounds from body shaming than putting it out there on the internet. It was almost kind of a reflection as I wrote this article. Oh wait, this article is written in collaboration with a dear friend of mine, Ananya Maddukuri, who you will see in more posts.

Like any other teenager, we both have been through hell with negative comments, shaming ourselves, disrespecting ourselves and most important of all, not understanding how important  and valuable we are. 

There are times where you think, this is how life is going to be whenever we come across a very depressing path in our lives. But trust me, it does get better. Which is why you have our testaments – mine and Ananya’s.

Our experiences with body shaming

My experience

It was a rather dull monotonous day, where nothing out of the expected should have happened. But all that changed for me in an instant. 

It was blazing hot but I still wore a jacket. Why, one might ask, but it’s simply because I don’t want people to look at my body shape or size for whatever it is and judge me. But this strategy didn’t work out with one of my classmates.

The horrible interaction

He came up to me and said, “When you run I can feel vibrations from 50ft away.” He proceeded to ask me if I understood that comment. Being the stunned, appalled person I was at that moment, I said, “Yes, I understand.” 

It took me an entire week to process that one sentence. I couldn’t convince myself that “I was enough.” or that “I was beautiful.” There I was already struggling with a lot of issues at that time. And this made me hit rock bottom. This time I couldn’t dust myself off and be okay with this. I couldn’t stop breaking down every night. To be honest I was broken from the inside. 

“But I think one week was what I needed to understand this situation. To understand my emotions, to understand what I felt. I was in turmoil but I came out stronger and more confident about my body than I ever have.” If I said this, it would be a total lie. No, one week was not enough, heck even a month would not be enough. I could go ahead and steal some inspirational quotes from the internet and try to help my readers. But I’m sorry, I can’t do that.

I am still working to process that comment, to understand my feelings and emotions and I think I’ll need an even longer time to validate myself. To put it in a nutshell, you can be sad for more than a week or a month for getting body shamed. Being secure with your body is not a destination, it’s a journey. This journey will make you more tolerant of dumb people who do not understand body shaming. And there will be people, stupid people, who will come your way and make life a mess for you. And sometimes these people are important as they will help you sort the good ones from the bad. Surrounding yourself with good people can be one of the best things you can do for yourself and for your mental health. They will help you grow and be your best version.

Ananya’s experience with body shaming

Well, the first time I encountered a comment on my weight was at the age of 9. You might ask, was it by my relatives? No. It was at the new school that I started to attend, in a new country, being ripped apart from the only solace I knew: my sister. It would be a lie to say I actually started to believe that I was fat at that moment. I continued my food-loving ways while loving my body; dancing every day after I returned home, despite being bullied, although I had yet to register it.

It all truly started in seventh grade, that awkward period of transition; when I changed from focusing on enjoyment to insecurity about my body. I started comparing myself with the people in my class. At that time, I became insecure about the acne that riddled my face and my body that was plumper than that of my older sister. Increased media time further consolidated my beliefs. I read of beautiful girls with “aesthetically pleasing” thin bodies. I started disdaining my eating habits, wanting to punish myself for everything I ate. Looking at the relatively thin bodies of my classmates further dampened my spirits.

The societal standards

I hated going out because I felt I was not pretty enough. I hated shopping for clothes because I felt that I had to fit a certain size, crying in the dressing room and admonishing every single one of my features. It is very narrow of me to feel so, but I disagreed when people told me that I was pretty. Because how could I see what others saw in me with my distortion of how I view my own body?

Realising that my view was toxic was my first step to a more positive outlook to not only my body but also bolstering my self-confidence. Looking at myself and saying I was beautiful made me see how pretty I was, regardless of the countless acne scars I have and the amount of weight on a scale. I wouldn’t say that I have healed entirely, I still have lapses when I don’t feel confident but I now know that I am more than my body and I know how to fight such depressing thoughts.

Conclusion

And there you have it: inside the mind of a teenager or rather two teenagers who have come across body shaming and body negativity. Writing this article was not an easy feat. It worked up some unpleasant memories and made fresh wounds worse but we wanted our precious readers to know that you’re not alone. And this is not okay. This is not how society is supposed to be but it is. And you have to deal with it or speak up against it. It’s time you make a choice.

MORE OF MY ARTICLES:

http://www.shreyatalks.in/talking-with-teen-entrepreneurs-dreamcatcher/
http://www.shreyatalks.in/talking-with-teen-entrepreneurs-dreamcatcher/
http://www.shreyatalks.in/talking-with-teen-entrepreneurs-menta_llystrong/

3 replies on “Body shaming ain’t fun”

Tht was beautifully written and i know u both personally and i think you both look great all these dumbass mfs are crazy.just bcos they’re used to seeing one body type on the internet doesnt mean that thats the only kind that shud be considered “beautiful”

The blog just read war is der in every teens mind ,regardless the gender and weight or stuffs .v r just insecure with ourselves like the statement goes ‘the grass is always greener on the other side ‘, but these type of blogs just gives confidence like “hell yeah,It’s me and my body IM BEAUTIFUL then the narrow minded persons brain who cares for appearances .the way u conveyed it was so beautiful and I can say I’m ur new fan !!!!!!!!!!

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